Tuesday, June 9

Top Ten Most Overrated Celebrities

So i'm trying something new....a few top 10 lists to spice up the place.

This first Top 10 is a list of the ten (current) celebrities that I feel don't deserve the ridiculous amounts of fame they have somehow acquired. Read on, and make a mental note that any strong insults were partially influenced by PMS. Enjoy, and try not to hate me!

10. Perez Hilton
So I used to read his blog, until I realized is was insanely boring. Who did he sleep with to get his fame? (Actually, if you give me a minute, I’m sure I could check the archives of his page and read a detailed report). Anyone can use Paint to draw drool and cum on pics of celebrities, Perez, and your insults are about as catty as a 3rd grade bully.

9. Dane Cook
Anyone who likes stand up comedy generally hates Dane Cook.Why? Because he is not funny. He is over-exaggerated and steals other comedians’ jokes. His only appeal is to teens and twenty-somethings who haven’t matured into real stand up yet. He’s like training wheels. Loud, obnoxious, sleazy training wheels.

8. Megan Fox
All I know about this girl comes from quotes published in my mom’s trashy magazines. I’ve carefully studied them and came to one conclusion: she has some serious daddy issues. She was overheard saying that she has the libido of a 15 year old boy, wants a full sleeve of tattoos, and has a total crush on a female actress who is pretty much her doppelganger. I’ve never seen such an obvious cry for attention, and guys are just lapping it up. Good for you, Megan. At least your making money off your mental issues. Maybe you should invest in a few sessions with a nice psychologist.

7. The Jonas Brothers
I need to start this one by explaining that I have never actually heard one of their songs. That is part of why I think they are overrated. I listen to the top 40 station on the radio, frequently check out itunes, and stream Pandora in search of new music. I have never once come across a Jonas tune. What that tells me is that they are simply a name. Their sole purpose is to make 13 year old girls faint. Not exactly the makings of serious musicians.

6. Anyone from Gossip Girls
A bunch of spoiled brats running around in expensive clothes, making a big deal about having sex and wearing feathered headbands. That pretty much sums up the entire female population of my high school. I don’t have the patience to go through that again.

Every magazine I read praises the glory that is Rihanna. Her voice, style, attitude. Yea, ok. Am I the only one who finds her voice insanely average and really awkward? I really don’t understand how people like Jennifer Hudson and Chris Daughtry get voted off American Idol, but Rihanna has multi-platinum singles. Sure, Umbrella is catchy, but its all so…done. Techno-inspired dance beats with a monotone female vocalist…haven’t we heard this before? In the 80’s? Come on, people. Where is the real, sing-your-heart-out, no-computer-enhancement-needed talent?

4. Miley Cyrus
I have hated the Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus phenomenon since I first found out about it. Then, I heard her speak. Oh my God! How are people allowing their children to take guidance from a teenage girl who sounds like she smoked a pack of unfiltered Marlboro’s and chugged a bottle of Jack Daniels ALL THE TIME? Not to mention that her accent is totally hicked out. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want my kids to idolize a 16 year old, never mind one that takes risque` photos and is dating a 20 year old model.

3. Lady Gaga-
She “sings” and dances in bodysuits and hair bows (as in bows made of hair), carries a tea cup everywhere, and wants to have a 4-some with the Jonas Brothers. TOTALLY the pinnacle of normal. She is praised for being unique and innovative, but i'm pretty sure she just shops at the Salvation Army, looking for crazy shit just to mess with our heads. People, where has your taste gone?!? These aren’t musicians, they are entertainers. I long for a day when a crazy like Ms. GaGa was only seen on the first few episodes of A.I., or even the 5 o'clock news.

2. The Entire Cast of The Hills/Laguna Beach…
One scripted reality show about spoiled brats spawned a bounty of wealthy losers that have infested our society. Who cares about the rivalries, fake weddings, spin-offs, etc? Do we have nothing better to do? Are fake tans, mini skirts, and Ugg boots that interesting? Come on, people!

1. Robert Pattison-
If this wasn’t simply a list of overrated people, you can bet your vampire-loving ass that Twilight, and all things associated with it, would be number one as well. Since it is limited to only identifiable celebrities who have inspired pandemonium, I’ll have to settle for the face of the outfit, Mr. Robert Pattison. Let me preface this by informing you that I am, in fact, a woman. I love some nice man-candy. He, however, is nothing of the sort. Pattison is not only creepy, but gross. You know when you can look at someone and just kinda tell that they smell really, really bad? Yea, that’s the vibe I get from this “super hunk.”And I believe I’m right, since I recently read a quote directly from Robert that he hasn’t shampooed his hair in months. I must have missed the “Body odor is sexy now” memo.

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