Thursday, February 25

"Lent is when I determine which addictions I still have control over."

Yes, I stole the title from Whatev.

So Lent started last Wednesday (Ash Wed, for those not in the know). It was the first year in all my years that I did not proudly (or sheepishly, in my case) don the telling black smudge of musty palm ash upon my forehead. It was the first year I didn't go out of my way to proclaim my status as a sinner. Now it's Lent, a 4o day period of time to be used for fasting, sacrifice, and repentance. Generally, you give up something for Lent. I always have. My most succesful year was when I gave up soda at age 12. I still don't drink it. I gave up chocolate once, but my mother decided that was too difficult. One year, I gave up Lent for Lent. That was pretty easy, too.

This year, instead of giving up cupcakes or makeup (my true material weaknesses), i'm going for the heavy hitters: i'm giving up my grievances. Yup, that's right. I've decided that hanging on to pain and resentment is just as unhealty as soda, if not more, because while soda rots your brain, resentment digs in to the core of your being. Every person has had a friend or family member that they have had a falling out with, I am no different. I don't intend to contact everyone i'vel ost touch with and pioneer a new relationship (awkward much?), but I do plan on trying to clear the air. I may send letters, I may have a chat...I may just let it all go on my own- let it float up and away into the distance, like a lost balloon. In the end, I hope to be healthier. I hope to be free of the wrongs of my past, with a clear conscience and on the right side of karma. It may hurt a bit, to dig it all up, but in the end, I think i'll be a lot like the balloon- free, and light enough to let the wind take me to a new place.

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